Thank you @robertpri for starting this thread and for setting the pace by candidly sharing your story. So sorry about your wife, and appreciate the insights shared here.
Very practical - what would be expected at a CH site.
My mother moved into an apartment in a retirement village where they also have a few levels of care if change in health status requires this. Every day, she is required to check in by phone - if she forgets, they try calling and if no response, will go to the apartment to do a wellness check. There are help buttons (on a string, so reaches the floor if you’ve fallen and can’t get up!) They also provide a help monitor to wear around your neck in case of emergency. Included in the monthly cost is one meal per day and she makes herself the other two meals in her kitchen. She tends not to want to make friends there and is able to keep to herself unless she decides to do one of the activities (like Bingo) or attend one of the concerts they have frequently.
They have a health center where she receives any vaccines, emergency care, podiatrist, dental hygenist, etc. If she is really ill, they will come to her apartment and if necessary, call an ambulance. She had Covid pneumonia last year and was transported to the hospital. After leaving the hospital, was admitted to the care center at the facility, which is like a mini-hospital.
We’ve been very happy with this facility and hope you find something you are happy to move into.
When evaluating assisted living either in house of as a residence I recommend going to the county court house web site of residence and running a civil back ground check. If necessary you can go to the court house and actually read any files they have as civil litigation files are open records.
Federal records are available through Pacerr which is not free but cheap.
Yes, I am ever the pessimist and I have handed claims involving assisted living employees who were stealing from their customers.
Like cops some times insurance adjusters make a living dealing with the bottom suckers in our society.
Also, local health department probably has inspections reports and violations on file…read the detail…not all violations are reasonable, and some minor incidents are not minor.